lack of sleep rambling.

It is 7:13AM & I'm surprisingly not sleepy but I know that when I crash -- it'll be bad. My day is hella jampacked. I got class from 930-1215 w/ my A&P exam at 930 and italian quiz at 11. When I get out at 12:15, I have to rush to my room and go to my dr's appt which is at 1:30 until 2:30. Wait around til 3:45 for my fadja to come scoop me up. Sit in traffic for a good 1-1/2hours so I'll be back around campus hopefully before 6. Hopefully make it in time to go get ashes, relax for a little and then chill with my sisters around 10 til whenevs.

AYDIOSMIO. It's crazies. With today being the first day of Lent, I haven't really figured out what I'm giving up. I was thinking of trying to better myself rather than give something up. I came up with a crazy idea of perhaps being nicer to people (whatever that means), but being nice to people = me being fake to 'em, so that's totally a no go. I did say better myself & not be fake in the process. TRILLS?! Trills. When I think of something.. I'll mention it..

Amyway, I had this urge to look at my pictures from California this summer & it just made me miss it infinity x over. This may sound hypocritical & immature & blahblahblah, but I hate when people rant on about how they miss Cali & shit but they've barely even been there/go there. Whatever enough of this hating mood.. I wish I could go back for spring break, but no tengo dinero. Hecka thinking about going back during the summer just to help my ate out with the girls and whatnot. Kick it with some cuzzos in Oxnard & the bay areaa! :) It'd be suuper fun to go for like 2-3 weeks. Not being 21 doesn't really bum me out only cause being there would be enough -- but being 21 would be an added perk ALL GOOD THOUGH cause I'm definately going back for my Lolo's 91st birthday in October, WHEREVER he'll be. Word on the street is that he MAY be in Reno, but shrug. Thinking about the location just gives me anxiety. Hahah. & I'm fsho just rambling right now..

That only reminds me! Earlier (err.. last night!) in human sexuality, all we did was talk up Nevada & the Bunny Ranch in Carson City & shit. It made me laugh cuz I kept saying Nev-aahhhh-duhh like the typical non-Nevada resident that I am & my professor was saying NE-VAAAAA-duh which is apparently how it's supposed to be said according to Nevadians that I know lol. Pointless to mention but whatevs! I was just so over hearing about the whole thing but nope someone would keep bringing it up. Geeez.

Arrighty. It's getting to look a little too bright & sunny out so I'm gona finish studying, shower & then start the rest of my dia. Hope everyone has a bueno as hell day. :)

pilopilo.

I just found this thing on Geekologie. It's freakin siiiick & everyone who knows me knows that I would be the one to clearly benefit from this invention. According ot the Pilo-Pilo site, it's for "People... [who] have the tendency of resting their cheek on their fist when they are thinking, daydreaming.. falling asleep." YUP YUP! It's all me baby! :)

Anyway I told myself that I should be in bed by 4, but between going online, getting ready for bed & just wasting time - I'm not done with the chapter I intended on finishing. I have my first a&p exam on Wednesday (er.. TOMORROW!) & I wanna start it off with a bang cause I need bangin grades this semester or else I'll never get to see the light of day, (academically) OUTSIDE of NJ. I'm getting second chances from my professors and I don't wanna take them for granted so I'm definitely taking advantage of it! (ie. For my online class, I've had 3quizzes due so far and haven't done any of them because I don't have the book & I usually forget. Wellll, he opened up quiz 1&3 for me to take which is fucken siiiick! Plus, I can take them twice and after you take them once all the answers pop up - duh - so when I retake it for the 2nd time I just plug them all in!)

I hope I can keep this up. I'm honestly proud of myself for putting this effort in. I've never done it before. I'VE NEVER STAYED IN ON A WEEKEND JUST TO STUDY. Cause shiiiit, I'm Renee fuckin Garcia & that just never happens! Welll, peaceezy for now. Hope noone forgets that it's free pancake day at IHOP! Happy Mardi Gras bitchz! :)

heebiejeebies & humongous smiles.

I hate when I get so curious and look thru old blogs only to find entries written about you. Sometimes I get the heebiejeebies and giggle with this humongous smile on my face, but sometimes it hurts like a thousand daggers just stabbing me in the heart. I won't liiie, I miss you so but boy you know I just wanna let go. But at this point in time I just can't. There's not enough closure for me to just drop it like its a piping hot plate. Yes, I'm letting this situation marinate cause I sure as hell haven't spoken to you since which kinda scares me cause I know how you are with your stupid lack of communication which makes me question why you even have a phone buuuut yaknow. I'm letting it marinate. I still DO wanna hear what you're thinkin in a more sober sense. ASFAJFAL THIS IS SO GAY. I mean seriously. Anyone who knows me knows that I, Renee-Rose Garcia, have never been rocked this way in my liiiiiife. I'm always the strong one who doesn't give a fuck about what you said but hellllloooo everyone! I'm human AND I GET WEAK TOO!

UGH.. You SUCK SUCK SUCK & this whole situation SUCKS. Our physical locations kinda suck & clearly don't work in our favor, but it always brings me to wonder "WHAT IFFFFFFFF..." or "MAAAAYBEE IF.." As really really really gay as it sounds, seeing you in my dreams sucks even more cause it gives me false hope and reality & geez I feel like nutto talking about this and telling the whole world how I feel, but we can never help what we feel - can we!? NO.

& that my friends is the end of my rant until later. I'm pooped! Ciao!

+weight, broke, bangin grades.

Just came back from drinking up top. If I didn't drink as much as I've been drinking -- I wouldn't have gained weight, I wouldn't be as broke as I am & I'd have BANGIN ASS GRADES. Oh well whatever maaaaayne! I'm livin it up.. :) Update later.

sigh.

I'm going to be alright. I'm going to be alright. I'm going to be alright.

If you see me, just tell me: "Renee, you're going to be alright."

=(

I'm going to be alright.

This week includes:

- the Steelers winning the Superbowl! Didn't think I'd be into the game cause my team wasn't playing (Giantssss!) but it ended up being a good game. 100yd td!? Coool!
- slipping on ice (Monday) & having some swollen soft tissue which leads to me being in a soft cast for three 4 weeks. Supposed to be three, but the doctor won't be in his office for the 3rd week so I'm stuck with this thing for another fucking week. GREAT.
- swallowing the ball to my black tongue ring the same day I slipped and fell on ice. I paid $10 for it! >=( s'okay cause Benji got me new bars, one with a heart & another with a diamond in the middle. Kinda trashy but classy! I like! :)
- getting sick & developing his kinda hot sexline type voice SLASH pre-pubescent boy type voice. Quite honestly, I like hearing my voice when I'm sick cause I wish that's how it always sounds. Hahah.
- him popping in and out of my life. One minute you're acting like it's all good, the next minute you're telling me that asjkfjafkla and then the next minute you're getting at me. NOT COOL.
- missing the all Greek mixer at APD because a) there was no way in hell I was getting up that mountain of a driveway they have. Last week I faceplanted & hell no with one foot not working, I definately wasn't getting the other one fucked up too.

Seriously not one of the best weeks in my life. I just want my social life back. I wanna be an asshole and go out drinking and all the fun stuff I was doing last week. Maybe this coming week I can even though its recruitment which I am ecstatic for. I hope we get a really great group of girls! :)

Anyway, to back track.. I've really been meaning to blog but my thoughts get all jumbled up and I never know where to start. In the past month so much has gone on so it's hard to pinpoint every little thing.. One of the major things is that Heather came to the eastcoast! The last time I saw that girl was in Reno 3, almost four years ago! It was hecka nice seeing her even if it was for a little bit. :) My immune system has been really shitty. This is the 2nd time THIS YEAR I've gotten sick. Not cool at all. Well I should go to bed. Mad stuffs to do tomorrow. Update soooOon! CIAO! :)

good life.

I've been out bullshittin/partying/drinking more than I've been class -- yet I've been all my classes. My life is bueno. :)

Update in a few!