heebiejeebies & humongous smiles.

I hate when I get so curious and look thru old blogs only to find entries written about you. Sometimes I get the heebiejeebies and giggle with this humongous smile on my face, but sometimes it hurts like a thousand daggers just stabbing me in the heart. I won't liiie, I miss you so but boy you know I just wanna let go. But at this point in time I just can't. There's not enough closure for me to just drop it like its a piping hot plate. Yes, I'm letting this situation marinate cause I sure as hell haven't spoken to you since which kinda scares me cause I know how you are with your stupid lack of communication which makes me question why you even have a phone buuuut yaknow. I'm letting it marinate. I still DO wanna hear what you're thinkin in a more sober sense. ASFAJFAL THIS IS SO GAY. I mean seriously. Anyone who knows me knows that I, Renee-Rose Garcia, have never been rocked this way in my liiiiiife. I'm always the strong one who doesn't give a fuck about what you said but hellllloooo everyone! I'm human AND I GET WEAK TOO!

UGH.. You SUCK SUCK SUCK & this whole situation SUCKS. Our physical locations kinda suck & clearly don't work in our favor, but it always brings me to wonder "WHAT IFFFFFFFF..." or "MAAAAYBEE IF.." As really really really gay as it sounds, seeing you in my dreams sucks even more cause it gives me false hope and reality & geez I feel like nutto talking about this and telling the whole world how I feel, but we can never help what we feel - can we!? NO.

& that my friends is the end of my rant until later. I'm pooped! Ciao!